Of Miniskirts and Sexy Smirks
by Yuu Kiyoshi
Summary: Between a power mad new Fuehrer and his ridiculous new laws, there's no way Ed was ever going to survive being a military dog again. Maybe he should have stayed on the other side of the gate.


A/N: Now, I KNOW this is not a new chapter to my Naruto fic, but I got back into FMA and just couldn't resist, especially when my "wife" asked me for Roy/Ed as a Christmas present. Well, that's what I did, and I managed to get a two thrusts up for it Hopefully you guys will enjoy, and I can work on my Naruto story soon. Kinda hard to write Naruto when you've fallen out of it slightly...

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It would be a slow and painful death, and then he would bring the bastard back, damn the cost, and do it all over again. The bastard he was referring to? Why it was none other than Roy Mustang, or, as the asshole made everyone call him now, Fuehrer Mustang. Even the ones who had thought they were friends with him were being forced to call him Fuehrer Mustang. The smug bastard had let his new position go to his head, all you'd have to do is look at the women's uniform and you could tell that. Their uniforms consisted of a fairly tight blouse – because there was no way you could call it a shirt – a jacket, and a miniskirt, a _miniskirt_ of all things. That had been one of the first changes Mustang made when he had become Fuehrer, and all the men – minus himself – loved him for it.

He didn't love Mustang for it because he was stuck in one of the women's uniforms. The reason why? Apparently they didn't make male uniforms in his size, and the cheap, smug, infuriating bastard refused to have one made for him. And he, of course, couldn't afford to have one made because Winry always showed up when he got paid and only left him with enough money to be able to feed himself and afford a place in the city away from the base. It was especially annoying on days like today, when, not only was it cold, but the wind was blowing extremely hard. His legs had goose bumps and he had to stop probably every ten steps to try and shove his skirt back down. The fact that he had a stack of papers in his arms that were almost as tall as he was didn't make it any easier to do either.

He truly hated that self-righteous bastard they called their Fuehrer. When he had found out that he'd be stuck in a female uniform, he had immediately laughed and assumed that Mustang was joking with him. It wasn't until the asshole showed him the uniform that his jaw dropped and he gaped like a fish. The fucker had the nerve to smirk his sexy – even though it was annoying, it was sexy, and he couldn't deny it, though he'd be damned if he'd tell Mustang that – smirk at him and offer to help him change into it. He'd told Mustang there was no way in hell he'd wear it and he'd stick with his normal clothes – He _was_ attached to his coat after all – but the man had just shoved a piece of paper into his face.

The paper was an official notice from the military that all offices and state alchemists were required to wear their issued uniforms or be court-martialed. Ed's eyes had seemed to grow wider and wider with every sentence he read. He had crumpled up the paper in his hand before looking at Mustang, a glare that would probably cause any lesser man to jump out of a window on his face. Unfortunately, Mustang had become all but immune to his glares after their years of working together. So he had, reluctantly, snatched the damned uniform from the man, before stomping out of his office and towards the bathroom. He had gotten the blouse and jacket of it on just fine and then put the skirt on, unfortunately, he couldn't wear his underwear because you could see them with the skirt – and he didn't want to explain his pink silk underwear with little teddy bears on them, a gift from Winry, that he had only put on because he hadn't done laundry, to anyone – so he had to take them off.

That was when he had run into a slight problem, he couldn't be walking around in a miniskirt that _barely_ covered his manly parts and not have anything covering them. He had glared at the uniform in the mirror before grabbing his underwear and transmuting them into something that would work with the evil little miniskirt. Unfortunately, he had only seen a pair of women's underwear a few times, only one of which didn't involve his mothers hanging on the clothes line. The only one he could remember that was recent was when he had accidentally walked in on Winry changing. So, he transfigured them into ones that had resembled the ones she was been wearing, though they were still silk, pink and had teddy bears on them, which were a pair of lace panties.

That had been two week ago, and they were _still_ catcalling and picking at him. It didn't matter that he had almost killed the last person who asked his friend, "Is the little lady on her period or something?" It didn't matter that he had almost killed a guy who had the balls to grabs his butt and rub it. That man had been charged with sexual assault and not only dishonorably discharged from the military, but also put into prison for fifteen years. It was weird though, because he hadn't been the one to file the charges against the man, and he wasn't needed to testify.

If he was honest with himself though, it was bad, but it wasn't _that_ bad. Granted, when the wind blew like today, it was really annoying and made him feel like curling up in bed under five blankets. But he had gotten used to wearing the uniform, though the heeled boots were still a bitch, especially when he had to fight. And really, in the middle of summer, he was sure the uniform was the best thing to have. The men had those pants which were made of material that definitely did not breathe, and their jacket was made of the same stuff. It was a wonder no one had died from heatstroke while wearing those uniforms. The only reason he was still ticked off about having to dress in drag, was that not only did it ruin his reputation and cause a lot of rumors – he didn't care what anybody said, he was not getting his dick cut off and having boobs put on his chest! – but because Mustang was still being a smug asshole about it.

Mustang was also freaking him out. Anytime he had his hands full, the man seemed to show up out of nowhere to open a door for him. And he swore that Mustang was staring at him whenever he could. But every time he turned around to catch the infuriating man in the act and yell at him, the bastard was looking at the papers on his desk and signing them. It also made him angry, that the asshole was looking at him and probably laughing his ass off on the inside. There was also the occasional light touch between them, mostly it was on accident – at least he hoped so – but sometimes it wasn't. He was almost worried – not that he'd admit that to anyone – that maybe Mustang had received brain damage during his fight with Bradley, but then he'd do something that was just _so_ Mustang like, that it'd just fly right out of his head to be replaced with anger.

That's why when he woke up this morning; he had decided to confront the man about what was going on. Unfortunately, he ran into Hawkeye on the way to his office and had been nicely asked – at gunpoint – to take a giant stack of paper work to someone. After he did as she asked, the person had handed him back even _more_ paperwork that he was now carrying back to Mustang's office, so the man could read them over. Luckily, Mustang's office wasn't too far from where he was. The only problem was walking across the damn courtyard to get to Mustang's office. Well, that wasn't the only problem he had, the other was keeping the wind from blowing the papers away while still keeping his skirt down – he had yet again not done his laundry, so he was wearing the panties he had transfigured – he had managed to keep anyone from seeing them so far, which he was happy about. He knew that if anyone were to see them, he'd either have to kill the person or die of humiliation.

Thankfully, he managed to get to the door on the other side of the courtyard without any mishaps or embarrassing moments. Unfortunately, he couldn't open the door without risking the papers falling and scattering all over the place which, in this wind, would make picking them up very difficult. Just as he thought about possibly kicking off one of his boots and using his foot to open the door, it opened. He turned so he could look at who opened it and thank them for doing so, but stopped when he noticed it was, yet again, Mustang. He swore the man had to be spying on him or flat out stalking him, because there was no way it was a coincidence.

"Looks like you've become my secretary, Fullmetal."

He glared as Mustang did his usual smirk, the one that either made you swoon or pissed you off to the point of murder.

"I bet you'd like that wouldn't you, you asshole!" he replied back to the man, trying to calm himself down.

"Now, now, Fullmetal, you shouldn't talk to your superiors like that." The smirk looked even bigger now and Ed was screaming inside his head at the man as his glare intensified.

"Just shut up and move out of the way you bastard!"

Mustang moved and bowed slightly, holding an arm out. "Well ladies first."

Ed had just taken a step when Mustang said that and almost tripped from the shock. Of course, he had been doing stuff like that – calling him a lady, woman, babe – since he had been put in the uniform, but he always did it when it was least expected, and always served to catch him by surprise. Gritting his teeth hard enough to hurt, he walked through the door, making sure to stomp on Mustang's foot really hard along the way. Unfortunately, the man showed no reaction, and followed after him.

"Fullmetal, just because you are on your period that does not give you the right to stomp on your superior's foot."

He almost tripped again and turned his head to glare at the man beside him, who was wearing his sexy smirk.

"The only thing you're superior in is rank, _Fuehrer_."

Mustang's smirk seemed to widen and become even sexier, if that were possible. "Now Fullmetal, don't make me have to write you up for insulting your commanding officer."

Ed released a small growl and increased his pace, wanting to get to the bastards office and be rid of this paperwork. Then he'd have to go cool off before he confronted Mustang about what the hell had been going on with his brain.

They had made it to his office without too many further incidents, though Mustang and he had to squeeze by someone, which put them right next to each other, and Mustang's hand had accidentally – he hoped – brushed against his ass. He hadn't snapped at Mustang, though it was extremely hard not to, and Mustang had only made three comments about his uniform and feminine looking body, his hair not helping. He was more than happy when they got to his office and he could set the papers down. Unfortunately, before he could make it to the desk, he ended up hitting one of the chairs in front of it and tripping, the papers flying everywhere as he braced for impact. The impact never came though, and when he opened his eyes, he was being held closely by Mustang, the man's arms holding him protectively, almost, lovingly. He blinked and then his face turned murderous as he realized Mustang had a hand on his ass and was groping him.

A few "taps" on the head to the pervert and Ed felt better as he started picking up the papers. Mustang had moved around to his desk chair and was busy staring at him, though every time he stood up and turned around, glaring at him, to ask what he was looking at, Mustang just said it was nothing. It was so infuriating he was about ready to just leave and never come back. Only problem with that was, he was smart, one of the brightest and best State Alchemists they had. They would bring him back and force him to keep working, chain him to some room in a building underground to make him research, or kill him. He had just picked up another piece of paper when he jumped as a hand slid down his butt, cupping it slightly. He spun around, lashing out with his fist, only for it to be caught in Mustang's hand.

"What is your fucking problem?" hHe snarled at the man.

"I have no problem. You were flashing me your panties every time you bent over and I couldn't resist. And really, Fullmetal, pink with teddy bears?"

Ed's face flushed in both anger and embarrassment. "Fuck you, you perverted bastard!"

Ed spun around, pulling from Mustang's grip and marching towards the door.

"Pick up your own fucking paper work!"

He had just opened the door when a hand slammed it shut, someone towering over him – which wasn't hard to do – from behind.

"You know, I was going to let you make the first move, but apparently you're to slow to pick up on that."

He spun around, mouth open, to yell at the man, when a mouth closed over his and a tongue was shoved into his mouth.

His brain shutdown, he couldn't think, he was barely aware of a hand on the small of his back pulling him closer. It was over almost as soon as it began, his mouth hanging open.

"Close your mouth before I kiss you again, Fullmetal."

His mouth snapped closed with a click and his eyes narrowed. "What the hell was that?"

The smirk appeared on his face again, this time ticking Ed off more than making him think it was sexy. "It was called a kiss, Fullmetal; it's what people do when they wish to convey their feelings to someone else."

Ed released a small growl of frustration and glared up at the asshole. "I know what a fucking kiss is you dumb ass!"

He gave him the most vicious glare he could, turning it up some when all Mustang did was smirk at him.

"If you know what a kiss is, why did you ask that question, Fullmetal?"

He went to pull back his fist to try and hit the smug bastard but only succeeded in pulling the man closer. Looking down, he realized that at some point during their short kiss, he had grabbed Mustang's uniform. It was at that point he noticed _just _how close they were. He shoved Mustang, putting some distance between them. His back hit the door and he laid his palms against the wood before curling his hands into fists as he looked down at the floor.

"Don't," he said, his voice shaky, "Don't fuck with me!"

He heard the leather boots on the hardwood flooring as Mustang stepped towards him. His body stiffened, ready to fight the man if he had to. A hand come up, no glove attached, and cupped his cheek before forcing him to look up at the man. He was surprised at the softness of the hand, and even more surprised at the look in Mustang's eyes.

"I'm not 'fucking' with you, Fullmetal. You are the most attractive non-female I've ever had the pleasure of gazing upon."

He blushed slightly, from embarrassment and anger as his brain worked to try and figure out exactly what the man had just said, but couldn't decide if it was a complement or an insult.

"Did you just compliment me or insult me?"

Mustang's smirk was back, directed solely on Ed, making him feel a little uncomfortable. "It was a compliment, Fullmetal. Would you like me to make it clearer for your little brain?"

Ed glared and jumped onto the man, knocking them both to the ground.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU HAVE TO WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING SO YOU DON'T SQUISH HIM?"

The smirk was still on Mustang's face and he was about ready to punch it off of him.

"I didn't say that, Fullmetal. So don't go putting words in my mouth."

He glared at the man under him, wanting nothing more than to beat him to death. His brain caught up with that thought and sent him a mental image that had him holding back a groan. A hand placed itself on his leg and slid up and around, stopping at his ass and giving it a gentle squeeze. He slapped the hand away and glared down at the man.

"Is this your idea of a sick joke? Or maybe you're trying to win a bet? Either way, it's not fucking funny!"

The room spun as he was flipped over and pinned to the floor. He looked up at the man, ready to glare at him, but froze when he noticed the serious look the man was sporting, one he normally only saved for fights against his enemies.

"I assure you, Fullmetal,; I'm not doing this as a joke, or because of a bet. I'm doing this because you are one of the most attractive people I've ever met, both in looks and personality."

Ed couldn't help the snort of amusement that left him. "If you're attracted to my personality, there must be something wrong with your head."

Mustang glared at him, something he had never been on the receiving end of, it was pretty scary – not the he'd tell anyone that – when combined with the serious look on his face. "This is no joking matter, Edward!"

Ed blinked, slightly shocked that the man would yell at him, along with something else. "Di-did you just call me Edward?"

Mustang's smirk returned, though there was still a serious look in the man's face. "That is your name isn't it? Or would you rather have me call you Ed?"

Ed's mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to process everything that had happened within the past couple of minutes.

"You…You're serious? It's not a joke?"

Mustang's smirk vanished and a slight smile appeared in its place. "No joke, Edward. I might be cruel, but I'm not _that_ cruel."

Ed took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "But…Why?"

Mustang released a chuckle and shook his head slightly. "I told you already, but if I need to repeat myself," he cleared his throat and looked directly into Ed's eyes, "You're gorgeous, more than any woman I've come across. I like your fiery personality, short temper, and amazing mind, among other things."

A blush ran across Ed's nose as he smiled.

"In other words, you're saying you love me?"

Mustang seemed to choke on air and Ed did his best not to laugh. "I-I said nothing of the sort!"

The stuttering did it, and Ed started laughing. When he finally calmed down, he noticed that Mustang was scowling and he started laughing all over again.

"And what about this is so funny?"

Ed sniffed as he caught his breath and grinned. "Just that you love me and are too embarrassed to admit it."

Mustang seemed to glare at him and he burst into laughter again. His laughter was muffled when a mouth closed over his again. A tongue slipped into his mouth and his own responded without him even telling it to. They separated for air and Mustang had that smirk on his face, while his face was flushed and felt like his blood was on fire. He felt something – rather huge – poking against his thigh and he looked down.

"Finally notice our position, Edward?" His question had Ed blushing hard enough to turn his ears and neck red.

"This isn't a one time thing is it?"

Mustang appeared to of anticipated the question, because he was lightly kissed before Mustang's barely there smile appeared on his face.

"I wasn't planning on it being a one time thing." A smile slowly spread across his face as he looked up at Mustang. "There'll be people thinking you're too old and I'm too young, not to mention the whole homosexual relationship in the military thing." Mustang smirked and Ed raised an eyebrow. "Thankfully, those who would think that are not in a position where they can do anything about it."

Ed blinked, mildly shocked and wondering just how much planning and thought Mustang had put into this. He shook his head and released a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I have to be certifiably insane."

Mustang raised an eyebrow at his words. "And why is that Edward?"

Ed smiled and looked up past Mustang towards the ceiling. "For some unconceivable reason I…like you too."

Mustang seemed to take his words as him saying he was fine with everything, because after the words left his mouth, he was being kissed again, tongues circling around each other.

When they parted, instead of more talking, Mustang – Roy if the man would allow him to call him by his first name – started kissing his neck, sucking on it slightly. It wasn't an experience he had never had before; he _was_ a twenty year old male after all. And he'd been with a few people – both men and women – but none of them had a mouth quite like Roy did. He didn't know if it was Roy's age or experience, though he was thinking both, since he was older and – according to rumors – far more experienced than anyone he had been with. The way Roy's mouth moved across his neck and down his shoulder, he definitely thought that the rumors were true. He didn't even realize he had closed his eyes, but they snapped open when a hand crept under his skirt.

The hand paused and Roy pulled back until Ed was staring at him. "You are ready for this, aren't you, Edward?"

He nodded slowly, then paused and looked towards the door. Roy must have figured out why he was looking at the door, because in the next instant, his sexy smirk had come back.

"No need to worry about someone walking in, Edward., I made sure the door was locked after I kissed you."

Ed blinked, slightly surprised that Roy had been able to do that so quickly. They had only kissed for probably fifteen seconds before it had ended. The man moved quickly and smoothly, which wasn't surprising at all given what was probably years of practice. Unless the man was born that way, though he didn't think that was possible.

A hand cupping him through his panties – which were tight and uncomfortable already – had his mind shifting back to what was currently going on. Roy raised an eyebrow and he realized what it was Roy was asking. He gave a slight nod and moved his hips up into the hand slightly so Roy would know he wasn't going to be backing out. The smirk showed back up and the next thing he knew, the hand had slipped under his panties and grabbed him. He hissed through his teeth, as the hand was slightly cold against his hot skin. It teased him, tightening its grip on him before letting go and barely touching him. Apparently Roy teased people no matter what it was he was doing.

The hand completely let go of him, and the next thing he knew, an arm had wrapped around his waist, and he was being picked up off the floor, his panties pulled off and flung in a random direction. His erection would have made a tent with his miniskirt, if he had been standing and the miniskirt hadn't flipped up when he was raised off the floor. As it was, his lower extremities were there for Roy to see, and the way he was looking at it before he brought his hand up and ran a finger along the underside of it had him blushing and letting out a small moan. The smirk almost seemed like a permanent part of Roy's face, and it only served to turn him on even more. Maybe that was the reason he smirked all the time? His mind lost all thought as his leg was lifted high into the air and a mouth started kissing at his thigh, running up his leg, behind a hand – which was pulling down the stockings he was wearing, since he wasn't going to half ass doing the uniform right – to his calf and then his boots. A pair of teeth grabbed the zipper and pulled it down before a hand grabbed it and pulled it off, throwing it in the same direction as his panties.

The mouth and hand made the same trek on his other leg, but after the boot was off, another kiss was pressed to his calf and then back down his leg to his thigh, where a small bite was given.

"Watch those teeth!"

The smirk was the answering reply he was given before hands grabbed him by his hips and tugged him a little closer to Roy, who was now on his knees. "I promise it won't hurt…Much."

Roy got a glare for that, though it softened when he was grabbed again. There was no teasing this time, just quick, short tugs and a semi-hard grip. He shivered, feeling like he was about at his limit when the hand removed itself. Glaring at the man who _had_ apparently made the smirk a permanent facial feature, he was about to shout at him when Roy leaned down and kissed him.

When he pulled back, he noticed that the man had somehow unbuttoned his skirt and had gotten it off.

"Don't want this to end too soon do you, Edward?"

If he was a normal twenty year old and not one who had been through so many battles and seen so much in his short life, he probably would have pouted. Instead, he gave a wicked grin before he wrapped his legs around Roy's waist and arched, using his weight to shove Roy onto his back. He did his own smirk down at the man from where he was straddling him.

"I wouldn't worry about me, I'm young and can go multiple rounds. I'd be more worried about you, old man."

He let out an undignified yelp as a hand smacked him on his rear. When he glared down at the man, the smirk was still there, and now it was infuriating him.

He leaned down and crushed his mouth to Roy's, enjoying the slightly surprised face the man had made before kissing him back and placing his hands on his ass. They broke for air and he smirked, lightly placing a kiss on Roy's mouth before unbuttoning his jacket. He ran his hands over the man's chest, feeling his muscles under the shirt and skin. Roy Mustang was most definitely in great shape. Maybe he _had_ gone a little far with that old man comment. He grabbed the jacket and shifted down some, tugging Roy up into a sitting position. The hands stayed on his ass, rubbing and kneading his cheeks. He had to slap them away in order to get the jacket off, which was quickly followed by the shirt before the man had a chance to grab his ass again. Resting his hand on Roy's chest, he slowly pushed the man back down, taking in all the scars on his chest.

There was one near where his heart would be, and Ed's eyes were drawn to it. He reached out with his hand, running a finger along the scar from top to bottom.

"We've all got scars, Edward; some of them are just easier to see."

That was true, though his most obvious scars were now gone, one side affect of the gate that he was thankful for. Roy's most obvious one was gone too, thanks in part to something he had picked up on the other side of the gate involving surgery. In fact, he had helped quite a few doctors when he had come back. The other side having more knowledge of vaccines and surgeries than they had. It had actually been pretty easy getting back too, once he and Al had figured out that their blood is what activated their transfiguration circles.

"You're thinking about it again."

Ed jumped slightly when Roy's voice filtered into his head. "Sorry…"

Hands gently pulled him down and placed a kiss on his lips.

"You're back now, Ed, don't dwell on the past or it will haunt you."

The man was speaking the truth, if he dwelled on everything he had done in the past, the guilt would probably eat away at him. He smiled at Roy before leaning down and kissing the scar, noticing that Roy seemed to shiver some when he did so. Smirking, he stuck his tongue out and licked it, pausing when he heard a groan come from the man under him. He decided that, even though it was a fun sound to cause the man to produce, they needed to hurry up before someone came across the locked door and called for Hawkeye.

Sliding further down, he planted kisses and licked at all the scars on his way, enjoying the deep, soft sounds coming from Roy. When he reached Roy's pants, a pair of hands suddenly grabbed him, pulling him back up. He blinked and shot a confused look at the man, scowling when all he got was a smirk in reply. The next thing he knew, their positions had been flipped and then there was no weight pressed down on him, instead, he was being picked up. He was slightly confused about what was going on, but then he was placed on a wooden desk and was hissing because of the coolness of it.

Before he could get a word out, lips were sealed over his and hands were working to undo his jacket. The jacket came off easily, the blouse, instead of being removed, was just ripped off. He thought about yelling at Roy for doing that, but had to admit, that he was sort of impatient also. Besides, they could always transfigure it back together after they were done. His hands worked at the belt of Roy's pants and quickly tugged it off, throwing it and not caring where it landed. With the belt off, he quickly unbuttoned the pants and shoved them down, along with a pair of black, silk if he was right, boxers. He used his feet to shove them down as far as he could, happy that he had pushed them down enough for Roy to step out of them. A quick glance down informed him that, yes, Roy was very blessed in that department, even more so if it wasn't fully hard although he was pretty sure it was.

"Like something you see, Ed?"

He blushed as he realized he had been caught staring and spluttered some as he tried to respond. The smirk on Roy's face had him blushing in anger, which was apparently noticed as he was soundly kissed to try and take his mind off of it. When Roy pulled back, the smirk was still on his face, though this time it was nothing but sexy.

"You can look all you want, Ed., I don't mind at all."

He figured it was good that Roy wouldn't mind, especially since he was sure to be staring at it for, what he hoped, would be years to come. He wrapped his arms around Roy's neck and pulled him in for another kiss, shivering when hands landed on his thighs and slowly moved upwards before they split in different directions, one towards his erection, and the other towards his hole.

A hand wrapped around his member, just as a finger quickly pushed into his hole, drawing a moan of pain and pleasure out of his mouth. The finger went back and forth at a rather slow – for his taste – pace, in time with the hand holding his erection. Tongues battled in one mouth, then the other, as they kissed for all they were worth. They split apart for air, both of them flushed and panting just slightly, a trail of saliva still connecting their mouths to each other. The finger was removed and then the hand went up to Roy's mouth. He grabbed it and pushed it away; enjoying the raised eyebrow he got from Roy. He brought one of his hands up to his mouth and spit into it, noticing that Roy seemed to catch on; he enjoyed seeing the man's erection twitch causing it to bounce slightly.

He grabbed it, rather liking the hiss that escaped the man, and started rubbing up and down, making sure to coat it fully. His hand was pushed away rather quickly and he was pulled to the end of the desk. He felt something at his hole, and then there was a small pain as it was pushed into him. Roy was _definitely_ bigger than anyone else he had allowed to fuck him. Though only a little bigger than the toy he had locked in the ammo box under his bed. Well, in girth anyway, because Roy was most definitely longer than that toy.

When Roy was all the way in, he was kissed and given a second to adjust before the man pulled out and shoved back in, forcing a moan from his mouth. The pace was slow at first, just out and in, out and in. But after a while, it was to slow for his liking, so he wrapped his left leg around Roy's waist and pulled him towards him. The man took the hint, because the next thing he knew, a hand had grabbed his right leg and brought it to rest on a shoulder as the pace was increased, hard and fast enough that he had to grab the desk to keep from sliding.

"God damn it!" hHe cried out as Roy his that special little bundle of nerves inside him.

His eyes were open enough that he could make out the almost shit eating grin on Roy's face.

"My name is Roy, but you can call me God if you'd like., Yyou won't get any complaints from me."

He managed to glare at him when all he wanted to do was close his eyes and get lost in the pleasure.

"Just shut up and fuck me, _Roy_. Or I'll find someone who can."

Apparently Roy didn't like him saying that, because the next thing he knew, he was being all but fucked _through_ the desk, and that seemed like a possibility with how rough Roy was being now. A loud moan escaped him and then he was being grabbed again. Quick jerks, sharp tugs, and varying grips quickly brought him to completion. His semen covered both Roy and himself, not to mention the paperwork and desk. Hawkeye was _definitely_ not going to be happy about that; he'd have to remember to wear those new vests they had recently made to try and stop bullets. Roy had stopped and he was panting, trying to slow down his heart but needing to catch his breath.

Mustang leaned down and kissed him, making him even more breathless than he was. And then, he was being tugged up and carried, Roy still inside him. The man was walking, but he had his face buried in Roy's neck and was kissing and licking, trying to keep from moaning, since every step taken just seemed to force the large erection deeper into his hole. There was a slight shift and when he pulled back, he noticed they were now sitting behind the desk.

"Are you ready to go for a ride?"

He blinked, and then he was laughing, unable to stop himself. A small thrust had him moaning in-between his laughter. He looked back at Roy and couldn't keep the grin off his face as he wrapped his arms around the man's neck before sliding a hand into his hair.

"I'm about to ride a Mustang."

Roy seemed torn between laughing and hitting him, then, the smirk came back to his face. "Oh no, Ed. You are about to ride _the_ Mustang."

He rolled his eyes and tried not to let the idiot ruin the mood with his smugness.

"You damn smug bastard."

Raising himself up, he dropped himself back onto the erection, sitting there for a second before doing it again. The pace at the start was slow, trying to find a rhythm and using Roy's shoulders for leverage. After he found the rhythm, he very slowly increased the pace, enjoying being the one to set it. Once it became fast enough that Roy started to thrust up into him, he stopped and sat on the man, waiting for him to stop his thrusting before slowly starting riding him again. He was trying to drive the man crazy, and with the way he'd be moaning, then growling at him when he stopped, it was obviously working.

Apparently it wasn't too smart of a thing to do though, because after the fifth time, Roy grabbed his hips and started lifting him up and pulling him down. He grabbed the back of the chair and tilted his head back moan after moan escaping past his lips. A mouth attached to his throat, nipping and sucking, sure to leave a mark. But Ed found that he couldn't bring himself to care or even mind that someone would end up seeing it and asking him tons of questions. He didn't answer to anyone. Well. No one but Roy, and that was only because he was the Fuehrer, though now there was a second reason for him to answer to the man. He didn't notice that the hands had stopped holding his hips and he was riding Roy with no help, until two hands planted themselves on his cheeks and forced them further apart, driving the erection inside him as deep as it would go.

He felt it building, his release. It felt like fire in his blood, like he was ready to boil from the inside out. It wouldn't be much longer and he'd be cumming for the second time within thirty minutes. Roy started thrusting up into him and he knew the man must have been close too. The wonderful mouth removed itself from his neck and his head was forced back to its normal position, the mouth previously attached to his neck conforming around his own. Their kiss was hard and full of passion and lust, sending shivers down Ed's back. He moved his hand to his own erection, wrapping his fingers around it and tugging. They were both so close, every move was frantic, every kiss, touch, bite, lick, and scratch coming from something within them that was purely primal and instinctive.

With a final thrust from Roy, which ended up hitting that small bundle of nerves that made his toes curl, he came, spraying them both with his cum and tightening around Roy, who came with a small grunt. They were both panting as they came down from their high, both utterly spent and tired. When they had finally caught their breath, a short, sweet kiss was shared before Roy stood, picking him up while simultaneously pulling out, before turning around and setting him in the chair. He blinked and was about to ask what was going on when another kiss was pressed to his lips.

"I'm sure you'd like nothing more than to cuddle, but we are still working, and we need to get dressed." Roy said, moving to his jacket and belt. "Here" he said, tossing his jacket onto Ed when he noticed a small shiver run through the blond's body.

His mind processed what had been said before he released a sigh, running a hand through his hair – which had somehow been pulled out of its normal braid during the course of their activities – and glanced towards their scattered clothes.

"I guess so. And I don't cuddle!"

Roy just did his typical smirk and walked towards where most of their clothes had ended up. He had just bent over to pick up those horribly embarrassing panties when he heard the catch on the lock turn and the door opened.

"Fuehrer, I have some more paperwork for you to…" Hawkeye had come through the door, her eyes fixed to the papers in her arms before she had looked up. And now she was standing there, eyes wide and mouth slightly open, taking in the scene before her.

"Now Hawkeye, I can explain-"

He was cut off when a bullet tore through the air beside him, cutting open his cheek and slicing off a few strands of hair.

"You're in here, screwing some woman instead of doing your work?"

Both men blinked before they realized what she had said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FUCKING WOMAN?"

She turned back to the woman behind the desk and stopped, noticing that there was something between her legs that _definitely_ wasn't found on any women. The young man seemed to realize what she was staring at, because in the next instant, he was sitting down and had covered himself. She blinked, taking in his features, blinked again when she realized it was Edward Elric, then smiled and turned around, shutting and relocking the door behind her. Both men stayed where they were, one sitting, and one standing with a pair of panties in his hand.

"That…Was a _very_ close call."

All Ed could do was nod in agreement.

* * *

Outside the office, as the men were getting dressed, Hawkeye was walking down the hall, a shit eating grin on her face that scared anyone who passed by her. She made it to the office where the rest of the old unit that served under Mustang were, all of them sharing it as heads of different divisions. Everyone was slightly scared when they saw Hawkeye's grin, but figured it wouldn't be anything bad for them. Havoc, the one who had no problem with Hawkeye shooting at him because she was downright sexy when mad – in his opinion – was the one who asked the question.

"What has you smiling, Riza?"

All she did was hold her hand out. They all raised an eyebrow, something they had picked up from Mustang over the years.

"It's happened, and you all owe me for picking the right day."

It took them all a minute to figure out what she was talking about, but when they did, there were various sounds of groans and curses coming from the room as they all pulled out their wallets. Damn the bet, and damn those miniskirts.


End file.
